Log in

No account? Create an account
C.U.M. [entries|friends|calendar]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[18 Apr 2005|10:22pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

he sat there and smiled like he meant it.
a smile that mocked me, and made me feel more vunerable than i had ever felt before.
he smiled at me like i was naked, and he was eating me up with his eyes.
i crossed my legs and focused on the badly lit train tracks outside of the subway car, trying to make myself look less enticing with every thought and every awkward movement.
i bit my lip and shifted my weight in my seat, growing more nervous everytime i glanced back at him.
and everytime i looked, there was that same sick smile, a perverse grin that i couldn't stand to see.
i started thinking even more, while i looked at my transparent reflection in the plexi-glass window...
-when will i be able to go somewhere without some stranger thinking he knows what i want, what i need, what i should give up?
-how is it possible that someone can show you every disgusting fantasy they have, without uttering a single word?
-does my short skirt mean that i'm asking to be gawked at?
-am i cheap, a whore, a hussy, a trollop, a slut?
-why do i feel so sick to my stomach over one asshole who can't keep his eyes to himself?
in the midst of my many thoughts, the train came to a stop, and i got up to leave.
i held my jacket closed and walked with my head down, not wanting to see if he was watching me walk passed.
the train doors closed behind me, and then i looked back.
the smile was still there and he was still looking at me like i was a steak.
the train started to move again, and before it picked up speed, i saw him put his hand over the crotch of his pants and he gave me a wink.
that revolting act and small gesture infuriated me, and i just stood there with a grimace, still clutching my jacket closed around me.
when i was walking up the stairs, i remembered something that i had always known.
he had no right to make me feel that way.
i had no reason to let him.
and i won't let anyone make me feel that way again.

post comment

[04 Apr 2005|09:05pm]

New York Appeals Court Dismisses Transgender Bathroom Lawsuit

POSTED: 7:12 pm EST March 30, 2005
UPDATED: 8:50 am EST March 31, 2005

NEW YORK -- A state appeals court has dismissed a lawsuit filed by an AIDS education group that said its landlord refused to renew its lease because its transgendered clients were using the building's common-area rest rooms.

The 4-1 majority of the state Supreme Court's Appellate Division rejected the Hispanic AIDS Forum's complaint that transgendered people -- those who were born one sex but believe they are the other -- were being improperly excluded from the common-area rest rooms.

Rather, the majority wrote, the transgendered people were excluded from bathrooms on the basis of their sex. The panel agreed with an earlier ruling that said bathroom exclusion based on biological "gender" rather than "self-image" is not discrimination.

The forum had sued the owner of the Queens building where it had offices in 2001, alleging the landlord refused to renew its lease in May 2000 unless it kept its transgendered clients out of the rest rooms.

In October 2003, Justice Marilyn Shafer dismissed the forum's claim of discrimination on the grounds of disability but said the forum could amend it and resubmit it to the court. She let the gender discrimination claim survive.

On Tuesday, the Appellate Division threw out the gender bias claim but said the forum could amend it and replead it before Shafer.

Forum lawyer Edward Hernstadt said he and his client were considering what to do next. "Whatever we decide, we will continue to litigate this case," he said.

Emanuel Gold, lawyer for the landlord, the estate of Joseph Bruno, said he argued before the Appellate Division in May 2004 that, "If you're biologically a man, if you're born a man, then you use the men's room. There's no bias against anyone."

Gold said women and girls who worked in or visited other offices in the building were startled and frightened when they found men in the women's rest rooms.

"I don't think there's anybody in America who doesn't understand this," he said.

But Hernstadt said, "This is not a bathroom case."

"This is a case about whether transgendered people are covered under New York state and New York City civil rights laws," he said. "This decision does a disservice to the transgendered community."

Gold also argued before the appeals court that the case should be dismissed because city and state anti-discrimination laws did not protect transgendered people in 2000, when the lease dispute arose.

Hernstadt said after the Appellate Division argument last year, "A transgendered woman walking into the (women's) rest room belongs there. She is a woman."


'The panel agreed with an earlier ruling that said bathroom exclusion based on biological "gender" rather than "self-image" is not discrimination.'

-are you kidding me, "biological gender", fuck you! discrimination is discrimination no matter what you call it, and just because someone was born one sex doesn't mean they really are that sex. The state and the government needs to open their eyes and look around, the world isn't black and white, male and female, sometimes there this radical middle where real progress is happening. Why does peeing in a toilet make people angry, why can't I as a male go into the women's restroom and pee? Who am I hurting? What am I doing in there that other women aren't going to do? All the same things come out of us, no matter what gender we are, why should it matter what actual, physical room we are in when we shit or pee? Doesn't make sense to me.

post comment

[04 Apr 2005|09:03pm]

Ann Rostow, PlanetOut Network
Monday, April 4, 2005 / 05:27 PM

In a 16-page ruling, a California appellate court ruled on Monday that the domestic partner statute that came into effect last January did not violate the ban on same-sex marriage recognition passed by voters in 2000.

In two separate lawsuits, anti-gay activists argued that the wide-ranging domestic partner law, passed as AB 205, was for all intents and purposes a form of marriage, and as such, stood out as an unconstitutional amendment to the ban on same-sex marriage. Normally, a law that conflicts with a voter-passed initiative must itself be subjected to a statewide election. But as gay community supporters argued successfully, there is a world of difference between the status of domestic partner and that of legal spouse.

Domestic partnerships lack the more than 1,000 federal benefits of marriage, wrote the unanimous three-judge panel. The status is not necessarily valid outside state borders, and it is both entered into and dissolved differently from civil marriage. Further, the court noted, even the proponents of the 2000 marriage ban told the voters five years ago that "Prop 22," as it was called, was a simple ban on recognizing gay marriage and had no effect on other legal ties.

The Sacramento-based Third District Court of Appeal cited recent ballot measures from other states as examples of the kind of language that could indeed be used to attack domestic partner rights. Among those quoted were constitutional amendments in Nebraska, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana and Ohio, all of which explicitly outlaw same-sex marriage and go on to undermine vaguely defined "similar" legal ties.

In another passage, the court wrote that the 2000 marriage ban "ensures that California will not legitimize or recognize same-sex marriages from other jurisdictions … and that California will not permit same-sex partners to validly marry within the state."

This interpretation by a state appellate court is significant, because gay rights groups have long insisted that the voter-approved initiative simply prevents California from recognizing a same-sex marriage from out of state, but has no theoretical effect on the state's internal policy. In other words, gay activists believe that legalizing same-sex marriage within the state would not violate the initiative, even though it would create the anomalous situation in which Californian gays could marry but non-resident marriages would not be recognized.

For a state appellate court to say otherwise could be ominous for those in the state legislature who are working to pass a bill legalizing same-sex marriage. According to the LGBT lobbying group Equality California, the court's comment was simply "dicta," remarks in an opinion that do not concern the legal issue at hand and are therefore not legally binding.
post comment

PORN [04 Apr 2005|08:29pm]

"Blow Job of the Nation"

Porn, what do you think? I'm not sure what I think personally, there are so many things/ideas/images/misconceptions about porn that its hard to make a final decision on where I stand about it. I will not lie, I watch porn, I've seen a lot of porn in my time...mostly gay porn.
Radical feminists believe there is no such as thing as porn that can be feminist or at least women friendly because porn was created by the patriarchal society and no productive efforts can be made concerning things created and harbored by a patriarchal society. I can see the logic, how can one make porn female friendly when porn was always created for men, and to this day is mostly created for men. Straight porn is always in terms of fucker and fucked, and pretty much all the cases the women is the one being fucked, she's the constant bottom, the one who is never in control of her body or her sexual desires unless she is paid to scream for more cock that she probably does not want. How does one make this feminist? Can it be feminist? One way in which this has tried to happen is porn which are created, produced and written by women themselves. Without male influence in terms of generating the story, money for production or choosing the actresses isn't this feminist? Can't this be sexual freedom concerning porn? Do most women even want porn which is realistic or run/created by women? Do they even want porn at all? Some say men need porn, that they have a need sexual they must realize and porn helps them...this is of course bullshit, porn serves the same purpose to men as it does for women, at least in terms of playing out a fantasy. This is an important idea as well, porn as fantasy. Porn is a fantasy, it is made of fake plastic people fucking other fake plastic people...in one way this might not be a problem in that people are consenting and buying this fantasy, but porn companies aren't marketing porn as fantasy necessarily, instead they sell these videos with naked women who look at the screen as if they want each and every male viewer inside them (which of course they don't). Porn is unrealistic but it pretends to be real, its all part of the mass culture which created false ideas of beauty. Porn, whether it can be feminist or not, is a problem in that people need to realize that it is a fantasy, it is made of people who are stitched up like Frankenstein to look like models. Porn makes women feel bad about how they look and it creates false ideas to men of what a real woman looks like. These are already problems in society, add in sexuality and there's an even bigger problem. How can one feel sexy, how can one feel beautiful when they are systematically taught they are not either of those things because they don't look like the people in the porn they watch. There's a big problem here, that's for sure.
Now, feminism and porn, sexual liberation and porn, one in the same? "Pornography and Freedom" an article by John Stoltenberg about pornography states that porn just supports male supremacy. Is this true? The evidence seems to say yes, in porn men are always in charge, their penis is the most important thing in that it gets into as many orifices as possible. How can women be free sexually when they are strapped to beds for men to fuck as they please? What Stoltenberg doesn't seem to take into account is that maybe people get off on "rough sex." Stoltenberg suggests that it is symptomatic of sexual oppression but I wonder if this is always the case, what of women who are the one's in charge sexually or gay men who dominant over their partners. Is porn just another symptom of male oppression, or is it sexual expression? A women being tied to a wall can seem like oppression, but at the same time if that women gets off on it, if she's been hired by a female writer/director and producer of that porn does that make it feminist and revolutionary? Then again, porn was in the end created by patriarchal society to exploit women, so its not revolutionary....? But if we followed this logic all the time the world would not be a good place, society is basically male and patriarch-ally constructed yet feminists and other social activists alike began to fight and are still fighting to chance it.
In conclusion, I'm not actually if I have a conclusion to tell the truth. Porn seems to on the border of possible sexual revolutionary freedom and oppressive patriarchal torture. I think with most things revolution is necessarily, I can't just believe that something cannot be changed for better, I cannot believe that the "bad guys" will always win, that sexual freedom is in terms of the male mind, that torture is expression. Revolution is necessary, sexual freedom is a must, not one person or one thing can determine freedom, porn, along with sexual freedom cannot be put into guidelines and this essay or any other essay, rant or scripture should tell one what it means to be free. Masturbate. Make out with yr friends. Learn to love what you see in the mirror. Sometimes revolution can be in our pants.

by: j.
post comment

Pope John Paul II [04 Apr 2005|08:26pm]

From: Planetout.com

by John Gallagher
April 01, 2005

For anyone under 30, it's hard to imagine the Catholic Church as anything other than an ideological monolith -- intentionally insulated, closed to outsiders and incredibly hostile to gays and lesbians. After all, these are the folks who labeled us "morally disordered" and even "evil." And for that, we have John Paul II to thank.

More than any other pope in the modern age, he was a man of his time and place: the years of the Cold War and Eastern Europe. In such an environment, it's easy to develop hard and fast beliefs, especially when you have the institutional force of two millennia backing you up. It's not a coincidence that John Paul II, Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher all took their place on the world stage at the same time. The world was easy to portray in black-and-white terms (as it is again today) -- them against us, evil vs. good. (Guess which side you're supposed to be on.) And urging them on was the firm conviction that the liberal excesses of the '60s and '70s -- including gay liberation -- needed to be corrected or, more accurately, wrung out of the system as vigorously as possible.

But unlike Reagan and Thatcher, John Paul II had absolute authority. Even Ron and Maggie couldn't claim to speak for God (although in Thatcher's case you have to believe she was tempted to lobby for the Supreme Being role for herself). And the result of that absolute authority is a church that slammed shut the window of change that was opened during the Second Vatican Council. For a brief moment, it was possible to look at the church as a progressive force for good in the world. Thanks to John Paul II, that moment is gone.

And thanks to John Paul II, homosexuality has risen to the top of the list of modern evils. This elevation was due to his own experiences. As a young man, he lived through the Nazi occupation of Poland. As a bishop and then cardinal, he endured the repression of a communist regime. Once communism fell, something else had to take its place as the ideology of evil. With the rise of gay rights, we were the easy pick to fill the void.

It's not that John Paul II didn't take aim at other targets. There's always that hardy perennial -- abortion. But you have to admit that nothing seems to have spurred the Church and John Paul II on as much as homosexuality. Bishops who were considered weak on the topic, such as Bishop Rembert Weakland of Milwaukee, were essentially laid off. Dignity, the gay Catholic group, was banned from holding services in local churches.

The pinnacle (or nadir) of the John Paul II papacy has to be the notorious Halloween letter, issued in 1986, which declared gays and lesbians "disordered," "self-indulgent" individuals who "threaten the lives and well-being of a large number of people." So much for pastoral outreach. Even the pope's last major statement, his recent book, tore into homosexuality as an ideology of evil.

Don't expect the new pope to make any changes. Imagine a court packed with conservatives getting ready to select the next president. (OK, so you don't have to imagine it.) That is the operating definition of the College of Cardinals, which will choose the new pope. Since practically all were appointed by John Paul II, who enforced a pretty stringent litmus test for conservative ideology, it's hard to imagine them picking somebody from left field, so to speak.

One name being thrown around is Joseph Ratzinger, head of the Vatican's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith and the author of the Halloween letter. As pope, he would serve for what would be a limited time (he is 77, after all, so the odds are against a very long papacy) while the church sorts out its next move. If you don't think things could be worse, think of a Ratzinger papacy. He's the James Dobson of the Vatican, watching to make sure that no one strays an inch from the philosophical hard line. With him as pope, every day would be Halloween.
post comment


Feminist Daily News Wire

April 4, 2005

IL: Governor Issues Rule to Ensure Pharmacists Fill Contraceptive Prescriptions

Governor Rod Blagojevich of Illinois created an emergency rule on Friday that requires pharmacists to fill prescriptions of contraceptives immediately and without delay. The Governor�s action was in response to a pharmacist's refusal to fill two prescriptions for emergency contraception (EC) on February 23, and draws attention to a problem that is becoming increasingly widespread, and what the New York Times calls �an intolerable abuse of power by pharmacists who have no business forcing their own moral or ethical views onto customers who may not share them.� The Times editorial suggests that �any pharmacists who cannot dispense medicines lawfully prescribed by a doctor should find another line of work.�

�I have a sneaking suspicion that in all likelihood, this is part of a concerted effort to deny women access to birth control. Those involved in this effort may be getting away with this in other states, but here in Illinois, we are not going to let that happen,� Gov. Blagojevich said in a statement. �The pharmacy will be expected to accept that prescription [for contraception] and fill it in the same way, and in the same period of time they would fill any other prescription. No delays. No hassles. No lecture. Just fill the prescription,� Gov. Blagojevich continued.

According to Catholics for a Free Choice, the Governor has also set up a toll-free number for women of Illinois to report incidents of pharmacist refusals to the state�s Department of Financial and Professional Regulation (IDFPR). State residents can also file online at www.ildpr.com. The IDFPR filed a formal complaint on Friday against the pharmacy involved in the February 23 refusal for failing to provide appropriate pharmaceutical care to a patient, and for lacking an appropriate procedure to dispense contra
ceptive prescriptions.

Cases of refusals to fill prescriptions � which the New York Times reports could be as high as 180 refusals in a six-month period of 2004 � have occurred in at least 10 states, with some pharmacists refusing to even transfer the prescription to someone who is willing to fill it. Often these refusals are accompanied by demeaning and medically inaccurate lectures from the pharmacists. According to the National Women�s Law Center, four states currently have passed laws allowing pharmacists to refuse to fill prescriptions based on religious beliefs, while legislation has been introduced in four states that would require pharmacists to fill prescriptions for contraceptives.
1 comment|post comment

[04 Apr 2005|08:14pm]

From the website: http://www.angelfire.com/grrl/chloride/riot/updates.html

I found this and I was amazed, it was something I felt as a gay boy for a long time now and I'm so happy I found this so I had to post this.

Gay As Novelty By: Liam

gay as novelty. i know what it means to me. gay as novelty. when a girl tells you she's got gay friends and feels less intimidated. that's just a part of the novel form of gay. when someone tells you they wouldn't tell you something, but since your fucking queer.....it's ok. the bullshit that surrounds me cuz i put my dick somewhere else than a vagina. i just don't get it.
it's great to be supporitive. but please don't treat me like i'm special . maybe it's the silence that keeps us so tight. but that tightness was never pre-defined. queer as radical ? radical what ? radical queer ? maybe since i don't like the club and the men that sustain themselves on coke, so this makes me a radical ? i don't think so.
maybe if queer wasn't so novel. maybe then you could see the abuse that goes on behind the scenes. all these boys getting the shit beat out of them by their boy friends. rape. and let's not even get into what straight people have done. homophobia kills. and how is it that these boys are supposed to start talking about this abuse ? i think it comes down to trust.
all i'm trying to say here is maybe if we looked past each others sexuality's and saw the person inside....we would acheive more than just a few secrets here and there.
riot boy......................because screaming is better than silence.
post comment

[14 Mar 2005|03:44pm]

March 9, 2005

Amendment to Close Loophole for Anti-Abortion Extremists Defeated

An amendment to legislation that would have barred anti-abortion extremists from escaping legal judgments and fines by declaring bankruptcy was defeated in the Senate on Tuesday with a vote of 53-46. Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY), who introduced the amendment with Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), and Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA) described the amendment as going “right to the heart of what America is all about. It says those who use violence to achieve their political goals cannot get a benefit, in this case bankruptcy,” the Associated Press reports.

Four Republicans voted in favor of Schumer’s amendment: Arlen Specter (PA), Lincoln Chafee (RI), Susan Collins (ME), and Olympia Snowe (ME). Two Democrats—Robert Byrd (WV) and Ben Nelson (NE)—voted against it.

Another amendment was defeated on Monday that would have raised the minimum wage over two years to $7.25. Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA), who introduced the amendment, said that employees who receive minimum wage currently earn $5000 under the poverty line yearly, according to the Associated Press. The bankruptcy legislation enables wealthier citizens to shelter personal assets when filing for bankruptcy, while making it harder for lower-income, elderly, and sick Americans to get rid of their debt. If passed in the Senate, it is expected to sail through the House with no delay.

-From the Feminist Wire
post comment

[11 Mar 2005|02:48pm]

US Withdraws Amendment to Global Women's Rights Agreement

In a victory for women, the United States today withdrew a controversial amendment to a United Nations declaration reaffirming the UN Platform for Action on women's rights. The amendment would have specified that in reaffirming the Platform for Action, no “new international human rights were created,” including the “right to abortion.” The US delegation to the Commission on the Status of Women (CSW), which is holding the review of the Platform for Action ten years after the Fourth World Conference on Women in Beijing, withdrew the abortion provision of the amendment on Wednesday and the entire amendment today.

The United States received fierce opposition to its amendment both from the 130 country delegations and the more than 170 women’s and human rights groups attending the meeting in New York. US Ambassador to the CSW, Ellen Sauerbrey, said, “The United States is pleased that countries agree with us that the Platform for Action does not create any new rights,” according to Ms. magazine. “They are declaring victory and going home, as in Vietnam,” said Charlotte Bunch, executive director of the Center for Women’s Global Leadership. “The reality is that they heard loud and clear the voices of 6,000 women here saying ‘No,’ echoing millions of other women worldwide.”

Taken from the Ms Magazine mailing list
post comment

[07 Mar 2005|01:35pm]


Murder is the word and murder is the thing the world is trying to do to us. In a world that hates 'fags' and 'dykes' its had trying to live and its hard not listening. Someone needs to say it and it must be realized, that we need to fight and we need to scream. Thinking that being locked up in our little world is what we should be, is just plain stupid. Half the world hates, and some want to kill us and we're supposed to live in our queers bars, back alleys, bathhouses and world of "Will and Grace" and be content with it. While we're imprisoned to our own death camp of falsities we try not to just lay down, we try not to hate ourselves when so many do. They tell us God hates fags, and we fear the outside world. We will not be murdered and accosted
I'm trying so hard not to want to be quiet and hope I'm safe. But I cannot live in a world built by the hands of demigods and dieties who are fasle prophets and movers who are in a coma in their hate and Jesus Christ-complexes. Feeling hate for them is so easy, and hating them makes me stronger, but I do not want to stoop to their level.
We are being murdered everyday and every joke, movie, picture and song that ridicules us is another shot. We are being shot at at a pace that's to fast for us to control. But we will not fall, we will not dies, we will not beleive what they want. This queen will not let you plot his demise and together we can all stand and proclaim our own justice.
Murder is the word, and murder is what we will not let them do to us anymore.
1 comment|post comment

cuntlove [07 Mar 2005|09:02am]

I've been pondering over this letter Inga Muscio wrote for a Million for Roe benefit. So, cause it's pretty damn interesting, here it is.

Dearest Everyone at Million for Roe,

I hope you are having a fabulous time at an event "celebrating" the deaths of thirty million unborn souls who have been systematically annihilated since the 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling.
I know if I was there, I would be kicking up my heels that I made the decision to murder three of these souls. Yes, it fills my heart with joy when I think about the three kids (aged fifteen, thirteen, and nine) I would have right now had I not been one of the many cold-blooded baby killers that live in American today.
But alas, I am a cold-blooded baby killer.
And I am walking free in society.
And one day soon, abortion may be illegal, and people like me will be criminals.

Today I read in the Los Angeles Times that a young girl was picked up by the police for placing her newborn child in a dumpster. She will go to jail for this offense, and I don't know who got her pregnant--whether it was her stepfather, a priest, or a neighborhood boy who promised her love.
She is a cold-blooded baby killer too.

In James W. Loewren's book, Lies My Teacher Told Me, there is a quote from a 1517 letter from Pedro de Cordoba to King Ferdinand describing life for the Arawak Indians under Spanish colonial rule:
As a result of the sufferings and hard labor, they endured the Indians choose and have chosen suicide. Occasionally a hundred have committed mass suicide. The women, exhausted by labor, have shunned conception and childbirth...many, when pregnant, have taken something to abort and have aborted. Others after delivery have killed their children with their own hands, so as not to leave them in oppressive slavery.

By 1555, the entire Arawak nation had been annihilated. The pre-Columbian population of Haiti is estimated to be around eight million people. The "natives" of Haiti are now descendants of African slaves who were brought there by Spanish and the French. These slaves rebelled mightily, and Haiti has been in turmoil pretty much ever since.
When I read stories about Haitian history and present day upheavals, I often think about the souls of those eight million Arawak Indians, and the many millions of Africans and Haitians who have died horrifying deaths--both in slavery and fighting for their freedom since Columbus's landing. These souls are speaking to the world. They say, "Colonialism is murder, colonialism is genocide, colonialism is now called things like 'free trade in the new world order' but it is still colonialism."

When rabbits find themselves pregnant in times of severe environmental stress, they absorb their young back into their bodies.

After NAFTA was in force in 1994, U.S.-owned factories called "maquiladoras" opened up all over the border of Mexico. One place that is very convenient to huge U.S. corporations is Cuidad Juarez, located just a few miles away from El Paso, Texas. The maquiladoras offer jobs and money to people who operate in a more pronounced economic apartheid than the one present in the United States. So people. primarily women--the poorest people in the world--flock to these shitass jobs in huge factories where no one gives a fuck about them.
Since 1993, at least 270 women have been found raped and murdered in Cuidad Juarex. Another 450 have disappeared. They have primarily been factory workers, attacked on the dark streets as they walked to and from work (progressive.org).

Here is an excerpt from a February 2002 article on the Progressive Media Project's website:
On Feb. 11, Chihuahua Governor Patricio Martinez Garcia said that he would seek assistance from the United Nations as well as from international police agents to solve these murders. Mexican women's-rights activists and the families of the murdered women have called attention to the murders of Mexican women for years. Their pleas have too often remained unheard by government officials and law-enforcement agencies (progressive.org)

In June 2002, the U.S. Christian Right, Catholics, and Mormons announced the creation of an alliance with Iraq, Iran, and a number of other countries to create a powerful bloc within the U.N. Their focus? Squelching all talk of rights for queers, women and children throughout the world.

One imagines that Governor Garcia's request fell upon deaf ears.

I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where people became outraged over the grisly murders of hundred of women in Mexico. I wonder what it would be like if Jerry Fallwell and Operation Rescue went down to Ciudad Juarez to protect the lives of people who have already been born, against the cold-blooded women killers and the factories that take no responsibility for their workers well-being
I wonder.

If I had three kids, I would not have been able to write Cunt. All the love I have for those three kids went into that book. Cunt fomented in my heart for years before I ever sat down to get it all out. I produced Cunt to serve myself and to serve other people who are already born.
I am very pro-life
I wholeheartedly support the lives of the living. And life is a goddamn complex thing, and it involved making difficult choices, and sometimes those choices lead to sacrifice. And sometime those sacrifices lead to a woman waking up one morning, her uterus in agony, and crying for the harrowing choice she has made.

If Roe v. Wade is overturned then where does that leave all the pro-life baby killers like myself?
Generations of women have grown up with legal, safe abortions available, and this has made us lazy. We have grown accustomed to living in a world where it is no one's goddamn business what insanely personal sacrifices and choices we make in our lives. We have had the wool pulled over our eyes so tight, we have o idea what is going on in Haiti and Ciudad Juarez. We read about little girls dumping newborn babies in garbage cans, we sigh sadly, and we turn the goddamn page.

If Roe v. Wade was overturned, then I am going to celebrate because I know it will make people get off their asses and take a look around this post-1973 world we live in.
It will mean war.
We've all been getting our asses kicked since before Columbus sailed the ocean blue, and little "rights" like voting, working , freedom, and abortions have blinded entire generations to this fact. Abortion is not a "right," it is not within the jurisdiction of men to decide whether or not women will be "allowed" this "luxury". We seem to have missed the point entirely.
At least if abortion is outlawed, more people will understand that the exact same war has been going on for over five hundred years, and there will be a lot more soldiers asking where they can line up.
With warm regards,
Inga M.
post comment

[04 Mar 2005|07:09pm]

Reommended books from youthresource.com about trans topics:

My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely
Kate Bornstein

Stone Butch Blues
A novel by Leslie Feinberg

Pomosexuals: Challenging Assumptions about Gender & Sexuality
Carol Queen

Changing Ones: Third and Fourth Genders in Native North America
Will Roscoe

The Last Time I Wore a Dress
A Memoir: Daphne Scholinski & Jane Meredith Adams

Self-Made Man
Paul Hewitt with Jane Warren

As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl
John Colapinto

Transmen and FtMs: Identities, Bodies, Genders, and Sexualities
Jason Cromwell

Dear Sir or Madam
Mark Rees

'O Au No Keia: Voices from Hawai'i's Mahu and Transgender Communities
Andrew Matzner
1 comment|post comment

[04 Mar 2005|07:00pm]

Awesome websites for trans. discussion, education, etc-

Gender Education and Advocacy (GEA)

The following is a list websites that discuss/educate FtM trans.

CONFERENCE ANNOUNCEMENT - Trans Justice, Social Change, and Justice, New York City, May 6th-7th, 2005. The Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies (CLAGS) will host a national conference, "Trans Politics, Social Change, and Justice," Friday May 6th and Saturday, May 7th, 2005 in New York City. This conference will provide a venue to strengthen activist and research networks, incite dialogues, share research, and create resources central to creating social change for trans people. The conference will take place at the Graduate Center of the City University of New York, where CLAGS is housed, at 365 Fifth Avenue (between 34th and 35th streets), New York, NY. For more information, click here.
-for more information about this conference and the really interesting website that discusses transgender law and policy go to: http://www.genderlaw.org/

most of the websites have links to other great webistes. check it out!!
post comment

GENDER NEUTRAL BATHROOMS [04 Mar 2005|03:56pm]

(SUNY Purchase, my school, is trying to do this as well)

from- YouthResource.com


Gender-Neutral Restrooms
[Alanna created this feature. She is a student at American University who interned at Advocates for Youth in the summer of 2004.]

Imagine a life in which even the simplest tasks are rendered impossible. A life in which going to a public restroom is dangerous because you could be harassed, beaten, even arrested. Perhaps in this existence you are afraid to go to college, because the idea of living with a stranger in a dorm room is terrifying.

This existence is reality for many transgender people, and even folks who don’t look traditionally male or female. Masculine women, feminine men, transsexual and transgender people often face obstacles in public places that the rest of us take for granted, like restrooms. Dean Spade, for example, a transgender person and also a lawyer, was arrested along with two friends for using Grand Central Station’s men’s room in New York City because he was perceived as being in the wrong place.

Spade, who is an activist, later helped create “Toilet Training,” a documentary about gender-neutral restrooms, as well as authored a companion guide to the video for activists and educators. In this guide, Spade wrote, “We should all be treated on an equal basis with other people who share our gender identity. No one should be forced to use a facility that does not match their gender identity.”

Although many jurisdictions across the United States are only beginning to create transgender-inclusive non-discrimination laws, restroom access is not a new issue. During segregation, civil rights activists struggled to end racially segregated restrooms. More recently, many activists have called for restrooms to be made accessible for disabled people.

In an action kit published for transgender youth, Lambda Legal and NYAC (National Youth Advocacy Coalition) discuss the challenges of using certain spaces as a trans person. “Some transgender people avoid public restrooms altogether, which can lead to health risks if physical needs are constantly ignored. Also, negotiating the locker room can be difficult when you have to change clothes at school,” the kit reads.

So how does one help change a system that alienates people who don’t always fit into a binary gender structure? First, it’s important to understand the terminology associated with transgender issues and access. Check out the glossary for more information.

Increasingly, there are organizations and agencies that are fighting for access rights for transgender people. One such group is the San Francisco-based People In Search of Safer Restrooms, which is “committed to establishing gender-neutral restrooms” so that people, regardless of how they identify or present their genders may access safe restrooms without fear of harassment or violence. People in Search… is sponsored by the Transgender Law Center , a civil rights organization that advocates for transgender communities. Another group is the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, which fights gender identity discrimination and lists successfully de-gendered and trans-safe restrooms on its Web site.

Trans-friendly colleges

There are many universities where students have successfully encouraged their administrations to create gender-neutral facilities. One example is Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut, where next year all housing will be gender-neutral. According to Zach Strassberger, a student who advocated for gender-neutral restrooms and housing on campus, incoming freshman will be asked if they care about the gender of their roommates. Those who mark “don’t care” are placed together, regardless of their genders.

Strassberger said that, if for example, an MTF first-year enters the school wanting to live with another woman, “Wesleyan will room her with a first-year woman who marked that she doesn’t care about her roommate’s gender, just so that MTF women can be sure to be in an accepting roommate situation.”

Wesleyan also offers Open House, which is for second, third, and fourth-year students, and designed to acknowledge queer life. “The people who live there might be hetero or queer, activist or not... it's an important gathering space and a safe space, but it's certainly not the only space where queers can live on campus,” Strassberger said.

Ohio State University in Columbus is also trans-friendly in that it is the only school in Ohio to include gender identity and gender expression in its non-discrimination policy (and one of only 28 colleges and universities nation-wide). Toni Greenslade-Smith, Director of Housing Assignments at OSU, said this impacts living arrangements and restroom facilities.

“Increasingly, we’ve had students who have self-identified as transgender and have indicated that they have special needs regarding roommates and restroom facilities,” Greenslade-Smith said. “When students indicate they are transgender, we will to identify what will best meet their needs.”

OSU features a program called Allies for Diversity that Greenslade-Smith said, supports students with differences, regardless of what the differences are. Members receive sensitivity training.

“They learn what to do if someone comes to them and says, ‘I’m being discriminated against,’” Greenslade-Smith said. If a transgender student at OSU doesn’t know someone to live with, the student is encouraged to live with an ally. Otherwise, the Office of Residential Life works on getting that student a single room. Many rooms at OSU also have either private or semi-private restrooms that are gender-neutral.

For links to other American colleges and universities that offer gender-neutral facilities, see below. On many college campuses and in other public spaces, the idea of creating gender-neutral restrooms is highly controversial. Many people are confused about the significance of such facilities. Some wonder, why are these necessary? Why should transgender people receive special privileges? What if I don’t feel comfortable using a gender-neutral restroom?
post comment

[04 Mar 2005|04:22pm]

The FBI's Hate Crime Stats for 2004 (preliminary)
(you have to download them from the site to see them)

post comment

[04 Mar 2005|03:48pm]


I'm afriad. I'm so fucking scared and I've said that before, I've said it already and I can't stop saying it because I'm shaking, becasue I never look happy, becasue even my friends see that there's somethign wrong w/ it, w/ me. I don't wanna be alone, but I always feel like I do. I don't think I'm alone, in fact I'm sure I'm not but I still feel like I am alone. To dumb for college, not queer enough for the queers, not straight enough for the straights, not butch enough for the guys, not femme enough for the girsl, I'm this weird medium, this in between and I can't help but feel alone. Even in a crowded room I feel alone and I'm so mad at myself for it, I don't understand...
I'm not sure if this about me being queer, I'm not sure if this is some political/social escapde, some rant about how there are queers who don't feel apart or don't feel any commuinty at all. I'm not sure if this is about the hidden boundaries of the queer commuinty (you must be this, you must fuck this, you must look like this, you must be a boy, you must be a girl, you must be this shade, you be this outspoken), becauase these boundaries do exist. Queers are always represented on TV, movies, etc as white, and that's just bullshit. I don't pretend to know how that feels, so I'm not gonna talk about it anymore b/c i hope there are queers of color out there who would rather talk about this. I don't pretend to know that but I knew what its like when I'm told i'm being represetned when I'm clearly not. I look at these gay male images and I find nothing in common...I AM NOT THEM. Nor do I want to be b/c I'd rather be me, even if I hate myself and my own skin itches scabs/scars/tears/drama. Where are the short, average looking chubby gay guys, did they disappear? Do they no exist? They sure as fuck do because here I am in all my fag overweight glory(despise). Do not fucking tell me I don't exist because I feel my skin stretch and I feel the tears that want to fall but don't. Don't tell me that, don't tell me I'm not alone when all I feel is alone. Even lesbians are portrayed horribly, they are either lipstick pretty straight looking girls or they are butch and where in the hell is the in between? Where' the middle? Apparently no one knows, but I think I do, because I AM THAT MIDDLE. That middle exists, whether TV wants to tell you they don't, they do. That middle encompasses so much and its never talked about, its never seen yet here it is, here it writes and talks. Is it really wrong that I feel so seperated from others, from others who I'm supposed to feel apart of? I don't think so, I don't think I should be critizised/scrutinized because I don't want to hang out w/ skinnny pretty gay boys. Maybe that's mean or prejudice but I just can't stand it anymore, i can't pretend we have so much in common just because we both like dick, because we fucking don't and DO NOT tell me that I do. I'm sorry if I'd rather hang out with other's like me, in fact that seems incrediebly prejudice, but THAT'S NOT WHAT ITS ABOUT, IF YOU DON'T GET THAT THEN MAYBE I'M NOT THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. FOR ONCE THIS ISN'T ABOUT BEING INCLUSIVE. for once i don't want to be the minority, i don't want to tbe minority within the minority (but maybe this is all personal). Do not tell me i'm not doing enough, that i'm not fighiting the good fight, do not fucking open yr mouth and tell me how to be queer, activist, feminist, humanist, human, DO NOT FUCKING TELL ME, DO NOT FUCKING TELL ME. I fight with my own hands, not w/ yr words. I've been marching since '85 sweety, don't tell me where to start, don't tell me which foot goes in front of the other. do not tell me there is no middle, do not tell me i exist so serve a purpose, i serve my own purpose, my god(dess), my own devil, i serve what purpose I decide. DO NOT FUCKING TELL ME I DON'T EXIST.
I don't know if its a social/political thing, maybe it's not, maybe its a personal thing. My home is that middle, that middle no one speaks of, that 'nigger' middle where its always dark and no light shines through even though I(we) shine so fucking bright it will burn yr eyes out. Maybe its not about media, maybe its me, its us...if there even is an us. Maybe I hate myself so much becasue I'm ashamed of what I am, not necessarily being queer, I love my queerness, i fondle it/cuddle it/love it/expand it, but everything that makes me me. Maybe I feel so alone b/c I don't know how to even be me, maybe I'm so miserable because I don't know how to be me. I don't know, that's the thing, I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE. these bugs crawl under my skin, make me wriggle, make me burn alive from the inside. Am I really alone? I don't know, I really don't know anymore.
Is it political, personal...is there a difference? I wish I had an answer, I wish I had words to explain but i don't. I can't give out answers or even explain myself any more then I have but I wish I could, I wish I could write all these inspirational words, I wish I could change someone's lives, make them feel better, make them feel like they are not alone. I'm not sure if i can though, I try, I'm gonna try, I won't stop. I hope if there's anythign i can do it will that someone will read(feel) this and want to write something better, want to write this better. I don't pretend to know the answers or even what I'm talking about, but i fell i'm on the verge of something, i feel like something's forming, somethigns taking is taking shape. I'm beginning to hope that I'm not alone. I'm beginning to realize that......
1 comment|post comment

[01 Mar 2005|06:19pm]

As I watchign TV (again) I saw a commerical (again) for a Disney movie about a girl who wants to be an ice skater. It seemed encouraging, it showed a young girl working hard and striving for something she wanted. Her coach was a woman as well, and the young girl's mother seemed like she would be in the movie as well. This made me happy, a Disney moive concerning women who seemed strong, in control and becoming something.
Then He came in the picture. He is the boy, the same boy that is in every teen moive. In every teen movie I have ever seen there is this boy who is the one the main character is in love with and wants to be with. I'm so sick of Him, He's is everywhere I look and He's is in every movie. When can people, especially Diseny, start making movies were women aren't fauning over pretty boys? Since when do girls only care about boys...oh yes, that's right, its because that IS all they care about, or at least that's the horrible stereotype.
Why can't Disney make a movie where the female character works hard, makes her life better and becomes the woman she wants to be...without having to fall in love with a man. Falling in love with a man doesn't help women gets jobs (unless that man is her boss and that's a whole different story). Falling in love with a man does not make one a better ice skater. So then why must He be in this story?
Movies like this teach such horrible stories to not just young girls but boys are well. These movies teach girls that they must fall in love with a man, that being a straight woman is the only way to live and be happy, and oh yeah, by the way you should probably do something with your life. Why can't the love story be what's behind the actual story of this girl working hard and getting what she wants instead of the other way around, or why does their even need to be a love story. This is also a horrible lesson to teach to young men who then think that they must fall in love with a woman, that leading a straight life where I fall in love with ice skaters is the only way I can be happy. This clearly isn't true, not all men do not fall in love with women and not all men marry ice skaters, and not all WANT to either.
So, in conlcusiong, Disney, please take responsibility for once. Stop teaching young people horrible vaules and ideas. Stop tearing women down and putting up a false diety becuae in the end it is false and its wrong.
post comment

Commericals=voimt=feel better [01 Mar 2005|06:19pm]

As I was watching TV I saw a commerical for a hair dryer and the commercial took place in a purple bathroom with a thin pretty female model blow drying her hair. I had to think, why exactly was there a need for this scene to be the tool that was going to promote blow dyers.
Even in other hair dyer, hair styling, etc commercials they almost always have women using their products. Men use hair dryers, one doesn't need a vagina to turn a hair dryer on, so how come only women then are used for products like this. In my opinion they use the thin pretty model to sexualize something that in no way has anything to do with sex. If one thinks of hair dryers and then of sex, I think there's a problem there.
Sex shouldn't have anyting to do with a product that has absolutely nothign to do with sex. This thin pretty model may use hair dyers, but a short fat man might as well, why don't they have him blow drying his hair in this purple bathroom.
Using women as sex objects is nothing new, and this a sad but true fact. Using women as these sex objects to sell products most people don't necessarily need must send a horrible message to young kids. It tells girl they must be pretty, thin and have long luxurious hair and tells boys that this what they should like.
This idea is of course wrong, but the fact that it is wrong does not stop companies from using woman as sex objects to sell hairspray and blow dryers.
2 comments|post comment

[28 Feb 2005|12:58pm]

Its like fire.

bottled into a little glass telescope the lens scans the curves of your skin. you don't care, it doesn't matter, you float around. it doesn't matter that its like fire.

I'm sick of being told not to care. I'm sick of being asked if that outfit looks ok. I'm sick of being asked who's my hag. I'm sick of being queer............ACTUALLY I'M NOT.

river water like yr tears yr eyes I can't breath when you think, blink yr eyes and smear the blood on my chest. you make me shake and i follow in hopes of hearing just one word. it doesn't really matter to me that its like fire.

abercromie and fitch can fuck themselves into oblivion cuz they want me and my friends to hate ourselves but we won't let them. its hard and it sucks and its so work, but we won't let them.

it doesn't matter, its okay, everything is fine, i don't care that its like fire..
post comment

words minus guitar [28 Feb 2005|12:58pm]


This painful worls is destroying the value of good angst.
I've never seen the great minds of my generation,
My head is in the sand, under water, under no control.
I don't belong in youth culture,
I sticked up my skin from the flesh of dead teens but I'm still not one of them.
It's so screwed up that I have to feel pain in order to even fell,
Its so screwed up that I have to fell pain in order to create art.
Its so FUCKED that I'm really complaining about this, cuz this dreary shit I created myself,
I am my own wrong doing,
My own germ,
The necessary evil needed in order to keep going, to keep on writing and scribbling and drooling way like a big baby.
This original thought has turned into this ghastly cliche.
This has turned mediocre like everything else,
This peeling flesh is now rotting skin
and even Frankenstein is more beautiful then me.
Burn me at the stae, at the cross, shove pitchforks into my thraot and bury me twenty feet underground,
Where God won't even touch me,
Bury me in my own self-appointed grac,
And I'm just so stuid,
How about you?

post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]